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Sunlight

by Exist

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1.
Writhe 09:19
It was as if time Stopped right then, an eternity between two seconds Where I stood Suspended In the Sky Miles above the earth… A concrete line in the external world Twists violently within my own mind Now in this moment I’m harshly reminded that What is Is Merely knowing what I’ve now discovered And I am demeaned to nothing Now gravity will grind me right into the rocks below Absoluteness hammers down Onto the self raised on the stilts of my dreams Stripping all vanity away All I acquire is all I am, nothing more Equated to an empty shell Yet we’re still sentient beings trapped in our defeat So if the value was myself I start to think, on what terms do I even exist
2.
At the loss of vision The mind is transformed into one's own holding cell The tightrope we walk between reverie and regret The things we think we own or can control No such certainty At the loss of sight So here’s where we part Sweet dream of mine rob me of what I’m defined Nothing, a self inflicted disguise At the loss of vision The heart stumbles between it’s own self-love and hatred My inflated self portrait blown away by the wind At the loss of sight So here’s where we part, Vision of mine Blind me and lock me behind Nothing, a self inflicted disguise Newfound stillness gave a glimpse Rifts above reveal sunlight Some sort of subtle whisper Through the trauma, blissfully reminds me That we are everything; all energy Simply currents radiating We are forever Tension reanimates Space and matter intertwined For without black there is no white All senses like binary To love is to suffer To suffer less is less feel Not a result; more one big piece Such is all and all will be for all time I am a shell, built, ever revised Absorbed in proud vanity Subconsciously tuning out Ease of my deconstruction I love and I suffer But only through my defensive eyes Nothing, a self-inflicted disguise
3.
So We Are 04:58
Awaken chained in a room with four walls, Three others in opposite corners Their ugliness more apparent the longer I stare, Until I start to puke from the sight and smell of their decrepit selves They tell me I am the same, I am. A moment of ecstasy escapes terror Now conscious, I’ve always known Witnessing intolerance Left to right, right-center The groupings they change And though ignorant to my own The mathematics show it resides in my gene There are no chosen ones in this apparent godless life I feel that I am the same, I am A second of ecstasy escapes terror Now conscious, I’ve always known Please don't forget, Your misfortune means more than love
4.
Experience of change in circumstance Says discontent is a container, always filled Adjusting the size of all of our pain with respect to what’s there In the dream, the wealthiest man in the world Holds a gun to his head, recapping the story of his success Born with nothing, disowned and bastardized He climbed the wall, world renowned he feels the same Fixated on a day that never even came What really matters at all? Ascend as I ascend and fall as I fall In sameness My feelings change as they change Like the weather Now that I can walk upon two feet I’ll scream until I fly The future told me on that day That I can finally allow a smile Now that I hold the world in my palm I’ll kill to take the sun As I’m rich, as I’m king, as I’m God, As I no longer care Nothing is here that you’ve never lived before The gold in your hands evaporates fast as it appears When will you figure it out that it could never be enough? If the riches of the world have jaded me for time and time Why I must I still fill this emptiness?
5.
Vessel 07:19
Just a vessel, ideas run Will we, won't we Hold the sun Sunday we'll still sail again Win or lose the game still ends Need we others to see our truth at all? The stairway is infinite No matter how high I'm already there, breathing As below so above Still we climb, climb the stairwell As to suffer so is to love, do we love? Do we see beyond the wall?
6.
If or When 08:20
Everything and everyone is gone In the aftermath of my free fall, The world is a finite man made game Devoid of color as it cools down To sit in the waiting room Fixated on the day that never came The worlds a man made game Anticipate all that has to be, will be Hands on the gate staring down the hall to the future The only one i'd take Rational or not the world slips under my fingers Be it love or fear Do you believe In all your infinite forms That it could really come? Perfection you conceived, unable to bend Did you really believe That the earth circles the sun forever? Wondering if or when So here it is The anti climatic nothing ridden end That we felt but left ignored Keeping faith stubbornly in this stupid locked in dead end fantasy While the ship was slowly leaving You can’t stop time, The more you try the more you’re left behind To be trampled by a crowd of your own successors Chasing the things you once thought that you owned While you're begging them Wait for me I challenged that which always will move as it moves In it's universal truth Cyclical She'll fly forever So far beyond that we may appear again Best left future tense than to fail As my window to the sky closes I'll cling to the dream So if i could just die while I Still see the colors as it cools down Before we shift our heads again Clockwise to the next compromise Arms extended, death-grip ready Asking if or when Begging if or when
7.
Sunlight 10:54
Glorious How every means to an end yields new beginnings Equal to before, this elaborate plan to fly Beyond the cell in which I waited years For sunlight to shine down on me Break axiom Is it wrong for me to churn the peaceful waters I suffered to see Sunlight shine down on me Suffering succumbed to lethargy before long With no sense of up or down Hell cannot stay hell And though peace comes through acceptance of what is Opportunity still can rear it’s ugly head, screaming to Take it all Break the stillness as this chance Creates a shock wave in our divine union Does the world mold to me or me to the world? Either way I see my escape And zen won’t fit through the door Run Forget all you learned or felt Run away from here you idiot Look in your wake Are you the one that made you complete? With your face in the dirt Was nobility there in the absence of sin? Did you fly higher in your ascent than where you were before? Grabbing to clutch what can’t be held Wash away the lines I see We search the skies above In our own attempt to hide from the Gods we already are Sunlight, shine down on me As all exists right now So I will be The door to heaven follows me through itself To show me around And change its form as a hole in the clouds Where I can fly toward the sun until I burn As if the angels don’t hate it here Wash away the lines I see Because everything's disharmony Is everything it needs to be Everything I see is me Watching skies above in my own search for nothing Wash away the lines I see so I can be at peace Good bye

about

Wash away the lines I see
Because everything's disharmony
Is everything it needs to be

Sunlight shine down on me

credits

released December 1, 2013

Produced by Matthew Clise and Exist
Mixed and Mastered by Dustin Miller
Artwork by Brandon Geurts

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Exist Baltimore, Maryland

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