by Exist

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Wash away the lines I see
Because everything's disharmony
Is everything it needs to be

Sunlight shine down on me


released December 1, 2013

Produced by Matthew Clise and Exist
Mixed and Mastered by Dustin Miller
Artwork by Brandon Geurts



all rights reserved


Exist Baltimore, Maryland

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Track Name: Writhe
It was as if time
Stopped right then, an eternity between two seconds
Where I stood
In the Sky
Miles above the earth…

A concrete line in the external world
Twists violently within my own mind
Now in this moment I’m harshly reminded that

What is

Merely knowing what I’ve now discovered
And I am demeaned to nothing
Now gravity will grind me right into the rocks below

Absoluteness hammers down
Onto the self raised on the stilts of my dreams
Stripping all vanity away
All I acquire is all I am, nothing more

Equated to an empty shell
Yet we’re still sentient beings trapped in our defeat
So if the value was myself
I start to think, on what terms do I even exist
Track Name: Self-Inflicted Disguise
At the loss of vision
The mind is transformed into one's own holding cell
The tightrope we walk between reverie and regret
The things we think we own or can control
No such certainty
At the loss of sight

So here’s where we part
Sweet dream of mine
rob me of what I’m defined
Nothing, a self inflicted disguise

At the loss of vision
The heart stumbles between it’s own self-love and hatred
My inflated self portrait blown away by the wind
At the loss of sight

So here’s where we part,
Vision of mine
Blind me and lock me behind
Nothing, a self inflicted disguise

Newfound stillness gave a glimpse
Rifts above reveal sunlight
Some sort of subtle whisper
Through the trauma, blissfully reminds me
That we are everything; all energy
Simply currents radiating
We are forever

Tension reanimates
Space and matter intertwined
For without black there is no white
All senses like binary
To love is to suffer
To suffer less is less feel
Not a result; more one big piece
Such is all and all will be for all time

I am a shell, built, ever revised
Absorbed in proud vanity
Subconsciously tuning out
Ease of my deconstruction
I love and I suffer
But only through my defensive eyes
Nothing, a self-inflicted disguise
Track Name: So We Are
Awaken chained in a room with four walls,
Three others in opposite corners
Their ugliness more apparent the longer I stare,
Until I start to puke from the sight and smell of their decrepit selves
They tell me I am the same, I am.

A moment of ecstasy escapes terror
Now conscious, I’ve always known

Witnessing intolerance
Left to right, right-center
The groupings they change
And though ignorant to my own
The mathematics show it resides in my gene
There are no chosen ones in this apparent godless life
I feel that I am the same, I am

A second of ecstasy escapes terror
Now conscious, I’ve always known

Please don't forget,
Your misfortune means more than love
Track Name: Like the Weather
Experience of change in circumstance
Says discontent is a container, always filled
Adjusting the size of all of our pain with respect to what’s there

In the dream, the wealthiest man in the world
Holds a gun to his head, recapping the story of his success
Born with nothing, disowned and bastardized
He climbed the wall, world renowned he feels the same

Fixated on a day that never even came
What really matters at all?
Ascend as I ascend and fall as I fall
In sameness

My feelings change as they change
Like the weather

Now that I can walk upon two feet
I’ll scream until I fly
The future told me on that day
That I can finally allow a smile

Now that I hold the world in my palm
I’ll kill to take the sun
As I’m rich, as I’m king, as I’m God,
As I no longer care

Nothing is here that you’ve never lived before
The gold in your hands evaporates fast as it appears
When will you figure it out that it could never be enough?

If the riches of the world have jaded me for time and time
Why I must I still fill this emptiness?
Track Name: Vessel
Just a vessel, ideas run
Will we, won't we
Hold the sun

Sunday we'll still sail again
Win or lose the game still ends

Need we others to see our truth at all?
The stairway is infinite
No matter how high
I'm already there, breathing

As below so above
Still we climb, climb the stairwell
As to suffer so is to love, do we love?
Do we see beyond the wall?
Track Name: If or When
Everything and everyone is gone
In the aftermath of my free fall,
The world is a finite man made game
Devoid of color as it cools down

To sit in the waiting room
Fixated on the day that never came
The worlds a man made game

Anticipate all that has to be, will be
Hands on the gate staring down the hall to the future
The only one i'd take
Rational or not the world slips under my fingers
Be it love or fear

Do you believe
In all your infinite forms
That it could really come?
Perfection you conceived, unable to bend
Did you really believe
That the earth circles the sun forever?
Wondering if or when

So here it is
The anti climatic nothing ridden end
That we felt but left ignored
Keeping faith stubbornly in this stupid locked in dead end fantasy
While the ship was slowly leaving

You can’t stop time,
The more you try the more you’re left behind
To be trampled by a crowd of your own successors
Chasing the things you once thought that you owned
While you're begging them
Wait for me
I challenged that which always will move as it moves
In it's universal truth

She'll fly forever
So far beyond that we may appear again

Best left future tense than to fail
As my window to the sky closes
I'll cling to the dream
So if i could just die while I
Still see the colors as it cools down

Before we shift our heads again
Clockwise to the next compromise
Arms extended, death-grip ready
Asking if or when
Begging if or when
Track Name: Sunlight
How every means to an end yields new beginnings
Equal to before, this elaborate plan to fly
Beyond the cell in which I waited years
For sunlight to shine down on me
Break axiom

Is it wrong for me to churn the peaceful waters I suffered to see
Sunlight shine down on me

Suffering succumbed to lethargy before long
With no sense of up or down
Hell cannot stay hell
And though peace comes through acceptance of what is
Opportunity still can rear it’s ugly head, screaming to
Take it all
Break the stillness as this chance
Creates a shock wave in our divine union

Does the world mold to me or me to the world?
Either way I see my escape
And zen won’t fit through the door
Forget all you learned or felt
Run away from here you idiot

Look in your wake
Are you the one that made you complete?

With your face in the dirt
Was nobility there in the absence of sin?
Did you fly higher in your ascent than where you were before?
Grabbing to clutch what can’t be held

Wash away the lines I see
We search the skies above
In our own attempt to hide from the
Gods we already are
Sunlight, shine down on me
As all exists right now
So I will be

The door to heaven follows me through itself
To show me around
And change its form as a hole in the clouds
Where I can fly toward the sun until I burn
As if the angels don’t hate it here

Wash away the lines I see
Because everything's disharmony
Is everything it needs to be
Everything I see is me
Watching skies above in my own search for nothing
Wash away the lines I see so I can be at peace
Good bye